I can’t click my reblog button hard enough
It’s not just the ladies who get insecure, it’s all of us. It’s a human trait, yo.
Fricken’ beautiful. Everything that I want to say about this has been said in the post above me.
you can’t stop me from reblogging this over and over again
oh fuck every time i see it i laugh so fucking hard. i have to reblog this every time. i can’t not reblog this
lOOK AT THE GUY IN THE BACKGROUND HE’S LAUGHING HIS ASS OFF
this is so great omg
He looks at his hand like it’s the first time he’s ever seen it.
Allergies are weird as heck. You can snap a humans leg in half and they can recover but if you eat this peanut u dead
- in memory of a deceased loved one
- because you happened to pass by a tattoo shop
- because it is your favorite quote
- because it’s from your favorite TV show
- to show dedication to your romantic partner
- because you liked the design
- because it has a deep meaning to you
- because you were young and stupid
- because you fucking wanted to.
I WILL LITERALLY ALWAYS REBLOG THIS
I LOVE HER SO MUCH
I went to my second concert(in this country) last night and it was so much fun. Two guys from Bad Suns had my same haircut and the singer was really attractive. And Fitz and the Tantrums was so good! They really kept the audience energized. One of them played like 8 instruments! It was really cool and admirable. Then we got in n out and it was delicious.
I really like Richard. We’ve been seeing each other for a year and we still haven’t argued once and he does so much for me and doesn’t even realize it. I like him so much and it’s really scary since he’s graduating soon. Idk what’s going to happen but I don’t want to be sad about it yet.
How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces?
These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget..
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ.
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid
ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death..
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male.
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
oh my god these are great
fuck this is like reading a jokes and not actual quotes